My brothers and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must not show favoritism. ~James 2:1
Back in the late 1960's, audiences were treated to the music and comedy of The Smothers Brothers on various variety shows and on their own show for three seasons. Dick Smothers played the straight-man, and brother, Tommy, was the clown and upstart. One of their famed routines, which never failed to evoke laughter from their viewers, involved Tommy, slowly but surely, losing an argument with Dick and finally, in exasperation at the lack of any better rejoinder, defiantly blurting out, "Mom always liked you best!" As a child watching this, I was unsure if it was only a joke or if Tommy really felt his mother had shown favoritism toward Dick as they were growing up together. It made me wonder, quite uncomfortably I might add, if my own parents liked my brother more than they liked me. With these worries, I struggled to find this skit humorous, and always felt immeasurably sorry for Tommy.
In the scripture referred to above, James exhorts the early church to avoid showing favoritism to any of the members. It seems this church was deferring to their wealthy members while treating the poorer with indifference. This partiality indicated that worldly values were being placed above heavenly ones, and James is anxious to guide them away from such practices which lead not to glory, but to sin. He doesn't tolerate a lip-service faith, but demands one of action where belief in and the following of Christ Jesus is lived out to the letter. If Christ died for all, then all should be welcomed with the same love He showed to us.
Do you perceive partiality or favoritism being played out in your church? Do you struggle with the notion that all who walk through the doors of the sanctuary should be equally accepted? When strangers enter the Sunday service or a Sunday school class for the first time, how are they greeted? How are they treated? Do they feel like Dick, the loved one, or like Tommy, the one who isn't quite lovable enough? Today, think of the ways partiality affects your life, and if you find it does, vow to make the change which allows you to love your neighbor as yourself.
Amen!
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Great article Martha. My guess is that most churches have a hierarchy as to who is Chair of the Parish/Church Council, Treasurer, and so on. We all tend to create a pecking order of favouritism as James point out in Scripture.
ReplyDeleteThank you for promoting The Christian Lounge. Your link above does not work. It should be: https://thechristianlounge4u.blogspot.com/
Your article has been published there today.
God bless.
Thanks so much, Victor, for taking the time to comment here and also, for publishing my other article at The Christian Lounge! I do hope folks will take the time to visit and even contribute should they feel so led. And sadly, there tends to be a pecking order even in the church. How sad!
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I never thought my parents showed favouritism (unless I was the favourite lol)-christine cmlk79.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteThat's so funny, Christine! The Smothers Brothers sure made us laugh with their schtick.
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What a good analogy. I loved watching the Smothers Brothers, and found them quite funny. I guess because I am a little older than you, I didn't take them very seriously. But favortism can certainly be a problem, especially in the church. I think our church does a great job of welcoming newcomers and strangers, but sometimes that breaks down when it comes to including people in activities. If the newcomer doesn't assert themselves and participate in things voluntarilly, I don't see a huge effort to invite or include them. I know this because I've experienced it myself and even after attending there for 8 years, there are times I feel like I am still on the outside looking in. Largely because I can't participate in everything they do due to some of our own "issues" (physical, etc.), but when you don't attend everything, you miss out on a lot of stuff and don't always know what's going on. I've always been a person who wanted to invite everyone to everything and make them feel welcome, especially since I was a Pastor's Wife for so many years. But when you don't feel that same kind of effort being made on your behalf, you get the feeling that they really don't care if you come or not. Sometimes it's just nice to be invited and made to feel welcome even if you can't participate for whatever reason. This is a good lesson today, and I appreciate it, Martha. I think I need reevaluate my own attitude toward others and make sure they know they are welcome and loved.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Pamela, for your honest and thoughtful comment concerning how we treat people who come into our churches. Having been a pastor's wife, you are well acquainted with this situation that happens all too often - people feeling like outsiders instead of fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. We can all do better in being inclusive and we should pray to be the welcoming people that Jesus wants us to be.
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I think I grew up wth the Smothers Brothers. I still remember them singing "When John Henry Was a Little Baby," with Tommy's final interjected line.. But as to the favorite child line (which I also remember), my father didn't have one; he was the classic WWII veteran who always seemed bit one-off from all four of his children. My mother did have one. It wasn't overt or scarring or grossly unfair, but it was there. I think we were rank-ordered in terms of how she perceived need.
ReplyDeleteI remember that song, too, Glynn, among the many they performed so well. Thanks for sharing your personal experience of your own parents' attitude toward favoritism or lack thereof. I can see how your mother would rank you in order of what she understood as your needs. Sounds like a typical mother in many ways.
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I loved watching The Smothers Brothers and laughed at Tommy's insecurities, but the laughter was not necessarily about whether or not Dick was the favorite. Great article!! xo
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you enjoyed this post, Terri, and that you have great memories of The Smothers Brothers, too. They truly were unique in that they had musical and comedic talents. Just the best!
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I remember the Smothers Brothers show was appointment television for my friends and me! I don't recall feeling sorry for Tommy; rather, he was my favorite. Haha.
ReplyDeleteOur congregation may be small but yes -- there's definitely a subtle hierarchy. The 'haves' (v. have nots) all tend to gather on one side of the sanctuary up front and aren't especially friendly. It bothers me not, and fortunately I've not witnessed Pastor Janet favoring them more than others.
I'm glad to know you're in the Smothers Brothers fan club, Myra! I figured I wasn't alone in this and I was right. I think it must be human nature to create a pecking order of sorts, even in our churches, large or small. I'm glad that Pastor Janet treats everyone equally no matter who comes through the door. She's a keeper!
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You know its not just churches, its everywhere. People have their favorites and form their cliques. I'm always on the outside and it no longer bothers me like it used to. Now I always notice the newcomer, or fellow introvert for which I wouldn't have noticed if I was caught up in the group.
ReplyDeleteI know that while I may be " alone" and not in a churchy clique, I am not walking alone. Good food for thought, Martha.
It is everywhere, Debby, I agree. As I mentioned to Myra above, it seems to be a human trait to create a pecking order, but God wants us to become more than our earthly inclinations. And you are so right, too, that we are never walking alone when God is by our side. He is the One that matters.
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Boa tarde minha querida amiga Martha. Seu artigo é muito interessante. Infelizmente, isso está acontecendo em muitas Igrejas Brasileiras. Tem Igreja em São Paulo, que tem um espaço para as pessoas que possuem mais dinheiro, do que as mais pobres. O triste é saber, que isso também acontece com familiares que são cristãos. Uma excelente tarde de terça-feira, para você e todos os seus familiares na Geórgia e um grande abraço do seu irmão em Cristo, Evangelista João Luiz.
ReplyDeleteThat certainly makes me sad to hear, Luiz. I'm beginning to think that accepting and non-judgmental churches are the exception, not the rule. As Christians, we need to take a long hard look in the mirror and rededicate ourselves to truly loving our Lord and loving His children as ourselves.
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Boa tarde minha querida irmã Martha. Aqui no Brasil, tem Igrejas Evangélicas, que separam lugares, para algumas pessoas, conhecidas como "Cebridades" e tem lugares separados, para elas. Uma excelente tarde de segunda-feira, um grande abraço do seu irmão em Cristo, Evangelista João Luiz. Espero que esteja tudo bem com você e seus familiares na Geórgia.
DeleteThanks for that explanation, Luiz. Still sad, though, isn't it?
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I pray we always treat one another as we want to treated—overflowing with God’s love, leaving no room for partiality.
ReplyDeleteThat kind of love just simply can't leave room for partiality, Diana, I agree. Let us vow to treat others with the same grace and forgiveness Jesus shows us.
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I always watched The Smothers Brothers Show! They were fun. Our church tries to make a point of paying lots of attention to newcomers. When someone new would come, we used to send them flowers! However hard we try, there will always be favorites, But the thing is, not to show it!
ReplyDeleteAnother Smothers Brothers fan! Yes, they were so talented, Ginny, and I loved both their comedy and their music. That's so refreshing to hear how your church treats newcomers. Our church is very small, so if a new face shows up, everyone is quick to introduce themselves and make the person feel welcome, because they truly are. I feel fortunate to be in a place like that.
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Okay...so you brought up a flood of memories with the mention of the Smothers Brothers. I never thought about it the way you did. I just thought they were funny. I never had those feelings, maybe cuz I was the oldest. But I am certainly aware of it happening in the church and try to not be that way. Jesus certainly wasn't and He would want His followers to be the same.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure, Bill, that you and your church team are warm and welcoming to all who come through the doors of the sanctuary. Those feelings of insecurity didn't last long, and I so enjoyed the Smothers Brothers every time they were on TV. I find myself wishing that entertainment today was so genuine and wholesome.
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Dear Martha, I got a kick of The Smothers Brothers Show and enjoyed watching them and their antics! LOL! I always try to treat others like I hope to be treated. Yes, I do fail sometimes, but I really try to be like Jesus. "What would Jesus do?"
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing, dear friend. I hope you are having a lovely week. Please stay safe, cool and hydrated. God bless you and Danny.
They were a dynamic duo (duet), Linda, that's for sure! As I mentioned to Bill above, I miss their kind of wholesome entertainment on TV and I'd love to see a revival of that. I, too, try to always think about what Jesus would do before I act or speak, and my prayer is to always love God and love my neighbors as myself. We are staying cool and getting some rain! May your week be wonderful, too.
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Bom dia, Martha
ReplyDeletePostagem muito edificante. O versículo de Tiago 2:1 reforça que devemos tratar a todos igualmente. Que possamos servir ao próximo sem favoritismo, como Cristo nos ensinou. Um forte abraço.
Amen, Lucinalva! May we all love our neighbors as ourselves.
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I am laughing as I remember back. I have had favoritism in the church. Everyone was nice - but they had I guess what you called clicks. I also have had some friends that I like better than others. That's a tough one. I try to treat all fairly. I enjoyed that very much. Got me to thinking.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Sandie, I'm glad to know this post got you thinking. As I've mentioned in previous comments, it's human nature to have favorites, but it's not in Jesus' wheelhouse. If we profess to be Christians, we ought to ask ourselves age-old question: "What would Jesus do?" Not easy, but worth it.
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Sorry for being late to the party again, Martha, but I was delighted to be reminded of one of my favorite sources of entertainment back in those days. I tried never to miss one of the Smothers Brothers' shows because, as know, we couldn't just hit a button an record it back then like we can today. And they had such a winning combination because their music was so good. They were my hands down favorite entertainers in both categories.
ReplyDeleteBut the important thing, about this very well done piece, of course, is not discovering once again how much we have in common. It's the very relevant and insightful admonition to be aware of, and get rid of, any attitude of competition or comparison with others, especially when we gather to worship.
None of us is immune from this subtle and divisive behavior. Even Jesus' closest companions were subject to it. After receiving the Lord's gracious forgiveness for his denials and a special designation of his ongoing role, Peter wanted to know what Jesus had in mind for the other guys. He was quickly assured that it was not his concern, or as we would say, that it was "none of his business."
The atmosphere we live in is permeated with messages that reinforce our natural tendency to be concerned about what others think about us. Marketers make a living out of manipulating and capitalizing on our fear of rejection. If we head off to church more concerned about what we're wearing, how we look, how we smell, what we eat, or who's more popular with whom, Then our spiritual senses have already been dulled and our focus is exactly where the enemy wants it.
Once again, my long distance friend, you've brightened our day and inspired us to think about things important to the One by whom all of us are equally loved and accepted. May God grant you and Danny a week filled with fresh realizations of how special it is to be one of His.
Thanks so much, Ron, for your in-depth comment here. I always appreciate the insight and wisdom that you share with me and all the readers who visit. No matter how many technologies we now have in our modern lives, nothing changes when it comes to our basic human nature. What you said regarding Peter reminded me of the Sons of Thunder wanting Jesus to give them places of honor on His right and His left. What audacity! Yet, Jesus forgave them, too, and set them straight. Not one of us is better than the other in His sight, so we should treat everyone in that same loving, forgiving manner. And I'm glad to know you're a Smothers Brothers fan! They were definitely a staple at our house when I was growing up.
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One of the factors that drew us to our current church ( our former church experienced a painful split), was the friendly atmosphere. Even younger people greeted us warmly and seemed genuinely interested in getting acquainted. At the new members' orientation the pastor only made one statement regarding the congenial atmosphere among the congregation, saying something like: "We trust you received a warm welcome when you arrived, and we ask that as new members you join us in maintaining a friendly atmosphere." I think it's a great strength of the church!
ReplyDeleteOh, Nancy, what wise and wonderful words your pastor spoke in that time and place! God welcomes all His children, and we definitely need to know and feel that when we take the initiative to enter a new congregation. How sweet that your welcome spanned generational lines, too. That shows that the word is being taken to heart and will be passed on and cherished long after our generation is gone.
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I remember the Smother Brother.s show, they were always good for a laugh. I think people have their favourites in their lives. The nuns we had in parochial had favourites, they would choose the same students to answer their questions. Some priests in the parish would take the same group of kids out places. I remember feeling weird about that but I observed it and thought about it. Being young and experiencing that is not good for you but I think it is a part of life that will always be there.
ReplyDeleteI was deeply touched as I read your comment here, Bill. One would think that those committed to the faith as nuns and priests would be much more accepting and inclusive of those that they wanted to know and love the Lord. Thank you for sharing your personal experience and helping all of us to understand why welcoming everyone into Christ's love and forgiveness is of paramount importance.
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I know the feeling of the odd man out. Never included in things that I was good at. It was common for me since I was from a "poor" family. It made me a rebel in my youth. I tired of always being on the sidelines and never a part of the activities. I was slow at learning which didn't help. I never really fit in. That is in the past. Forgive and move on.
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I can't thank you enough for your raw and vulnerable honesty that you've shared here, Jim. That takes so much courage and faith in the One who has told you since that you matter to Him. Your willingness to forgive and move on is nothing short of inspirational for every reader here and for me. May we all take that admonishment to heart.
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We watched The Smothers Brothers faithfully at my home when I was growing up. What a keen memory you have, Martha, to remember that line. Of course you would, as it struck a chord in you personally and evoked the question: is my brother the favorite?
ReplyDeleteI never wondered who was the favorite child at home, as my brothers and I were 10 years apart. By the time I was in 2nd grade, my middle brother was off to college and the eldest brother had started a family of his own.
But as for the church, yes I have seen favoritism to the more esteemed. And in another church, I've witnessed the opposite. The homeless were treated with dignity and equal respect. One of them was offered a job singing in the choir because it was discovered that he was a gifted baritone.
Thank you for bringing this subject to light, Martha. It's an important topic from James, and this verse has always spoken to me. I love the book of James!
Love and blessings!
I love the book of James, too, Debra. I simply feel that he doesn't mince words and simply 'tells it like it is' as we used to say back in the day. I don't know about the keen memory, but I think that uncertainty may have come from my mother, who was a baseball fanatic, saying at one point that she always wanted to have nine boys so she could have a baseball team. My birth didn't start her out on the right foot, to say the least. Thank you for sharing your experience in church where the homeless and nameless were treated with love and respect. Inspiring to us all!
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Martha, I remember the Smothers Brothers when I was little, they were funny! I think most kids wonder if their parents favor one child over another. This is an excellent analogy to the church and favoritism. Being in church ministry for years with Mike, I know the pitfall of clicks in the church. Even though it can be unknowingly to many, sitting, standing, or talking to our friends at church, can give the appearance of ignoring new people and visitors. May we become intentional to "include" others and make them feel welcome at church and other scenarios. God bless.
ReplyDeleteThe Smothers Brothers definitely were funny and talented, Karen, and I'm glad that you remember them. More than that, I'm so gratified, especially since Mike and you have spent much of your lives in the ministry, understand the human inclination to stay within groups instead of welcoming the unknown persons into the fold just as Jesus told us to do. We truly do have to make the effort to welcome, and invite, anyone and everyone into the everlasting life our God offers.
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The art of comedy is being oversaturated. I miss the comedy of my younger years. Comedy was a pure and passionate.
ReplyDeletePure and passionate . . . That's a perfect way to describe it, Katie. I miss it, too, and I'm glad to know I'm not alone.
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Just letting you know I commented on your post over on the Christian Lounge. A real thinker.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Debby! I'll check it out.
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Martha, this reflection is so meaningful. The way you connected the Smothers Brothers’ humor to the deeper issue of favoritism in the early church was powerful. It’s a needed reminder that we’re called to welcome everyone with the same love Christ shows us. Your words encourage me to look at my own heart and make sure I’m not showing partiality, especially within the church family. Thank you for sharing this gentle but important truth today. Amen.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Carrie, for your most thoughtful comment here. Showing partiality, especially in the context of the church, is not at all what Jesus wants from us. May we all reflect upon how we treat others and check our egos at the door of the sanctuary.
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May we show the love and compassion of Christ to all who enter our doors - no matter their political preference, country of origin, gender challenges, attire, etc.
ReplyDeleteThey don't have to be like me to be like Him! Thank You, Jesus!
Absolutely, Linda! May we all be loving and accepting of others in the name of Jesus.
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Great Post...Sadly, I have seen favoritism in a church... And...unfortunately it seems that in many churches, those with the big money are treated in a totally different way from those who may only have pennies to give. It happens here in my little town and I honesty think this is big reason why so many people back off from being involved in big churches.. Thank you Martha for you openness in needed conversations...
ReplyDeleteI am ever so appreciative that you've taken the time to stop by my blog today, Shug. There is so much on your plate, yet you never cease to support all of us here with your wise and helpful takes on the reality of life and of how we, who are believers, must stand up to those who would show favoritism in our churches. It certainly breaks my heart! We can never make disciples until we're willing to truly become one.
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Boa noite minha querida irmã Martha. Espero que esteja tudo bem com a irmã e seus familiares na Geórgia. Uma excelente noite de quinta-feira e um grande abraço do seu irmão em Cristo Jesus, Evangelista João Luiz.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Brother Luiz! We had a wonderful lunch with friends today and it reminded us of how precious and God-blessed friendships are.
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It’s not just something that happens in churches--favoritism shows up everywhere. People naturally gravitate toward certain groups and end up forming cliques.
ReplyDeleteJames’ reminder is timeless--we’re called to love without partiality. Thank you for encouraging us to look inward and make sure we’re welcoming everyone with Christ’s love.
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Thank you, Veronica, for your kind and affirming comment here. Yes, it is human nature to gravitate toward groups where we feel we fit in and to shun those whom we feel "don't make the cut," so to speak. But Jesus calls us to a higher way of thinking, one that He taught us and that each and every one of us is beloved and forgiven by God and we should welcome others into our midst with that same attitude.
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Thank you for giving me something to ponder on. Pray on. And examine myself.
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You are so very welcome, Regine.
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Smother Brothers bring back such good fun memories. What a joy to relate this to church too. Great example, Martha!!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to know that they bring back such good memories for you, too, Jean. And we should never make anyone who comes through the doors of our churches feel unwanted in any way, shape or form.
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Not sure I commented on this post when I saw it the first time (I think I got interrupted). Anyway, we watched the Smother's Brothers back in the day. I have 3 children who are all adults now. We always tried to treat them all equally but I wouldn't want to ask them today if we were successful in that or not.
ReplyDeleteI hear you on that one, Barbara. I would always tell my son and daughter that there could be times when I might not like you for something you've said or done, but nothing could ever make me stop loving you the same. No favorites!
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thecontemplativecat here. I too wondered if Mom loved my siblings more. I was the middle child and often felt I was unimportant. I remember the Smother's Brothers and felt like that. The church of my childhood always stood back and talked about the strangers, before welcomed the strangers.
ReplyDeleteOur pastor today addressed that exact same sentiment in his message, Susan. Are we making the effort to be welcoming and accommodating, or are we ignoring those who truly need to be welcomed sincerely in order to know the incomparable love God has offered to us all in grace and truth. I think my insecurity came from my baseball-fan Mom once saying that she wanted to have nine boys so she could have a team of potential players. Sadly, I took her at her word at the time. The middle child, it seems, always carries an extra burden.
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Always a test; it's so easy to favour those who think like we do.
ReplyDeleteOh, yes, David, it is all too easy. But our Lord showed us a different and much more fruitful path to take in accepting and welcoming the "others" into the Lord's fold. It is what He called, and is still calling us, to us.
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People tend to make a group. But sometimes it changes into the wall.
ReplyDeleteI will think about neighbors.
Yes, RTC, we should all love our neighbors as ourselves and not just gravitate to those with whom we agree.
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Jesus was notoriously welcoming to outcasts like tax collectors! Because everyone is loved by God and known to God, I have stopped or tried to stop my judgmental response to people driving or in the news or anywhere else. I can't know about them. I can only do good and bless everyone around me. It is a comfort that God will sort us all out so that by our choices we will end up in the right place. Gosh thanks for listening to this long comment! I guess you feel like a friend to me so it opens my mouth a bit. LOL. Pixie says meow
ReplyDeleteYour input is always, always welcome here, Cloudia! Thanks for sharing how you are dealing with things, trusting that God knows best. He will sort everything out in the end. Tell Pixie I said "Hi!"
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