Monday, September 2, 2024

For the Better

 


Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:  If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.  But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. ~Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

The older I get, the more I crave routine in my day.  Are you the same way?  But as we age, there are so many instances where interruptions become the norm instead of the exception.

My husband, Danny, and I used to take on separate duties in managing our household.  Since he is the chef and menu planner each week, he would take any required jaunts to our favorite grocery stores, always in search of the best bargains and healthiest foods he could find.  I would stay back at the house, content with doing the usual housework and reading/writing as much as possible.  If I have an appointment scheduled with the dentist or a doctor for a regular checkup, I simply take off in my car without Danny have to accompany me, and vice versa.

Those days, since the end of January, are behind us for the foreseeable future.  Danny's pacemaker surgery (you can read the details HERE) changes everything.  For both of us.  Whenever we have appointments or need to go shopping, we have to go together.  Although there have been many notable improvements in Danny's mental and emotional state over the months, shaking off the effects of medical, or any other type, of PTSD takes patience, outside counseling and the will to return to some state of normalcy in life.

And prayer.  Lots and lots of prayer.

Laughter doesn't hurt either.  We often joke about the situation, admitting that as much time as we have to be in close proximity, at least we like each other's company.  That's a good thing to be sure!  Yes, we've both had to make adjustments that sometimes feel restrictive in the moment, but that is simply a reality of marriage in a nutshell.  We give because we love, we love because we give.

Honestly, it's not easy to admit that neither one of us can do activities we once did without a second thought, like traveling long distances from home or volunteering for projects in our church or community that once would have allured us individually.  But this seems, upon reflection, an insignificant price to pay to feel safe and secure in our daily lives.

I can personally attest to Solomon's wisdom in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10:  Two are better than one.  May God grant us His grace and mercy to traverse this journey together.  One day at a time.  All for the better.

Amen!

64 comments:

  1. Indeed, life changes at each stage in our lives and we face new challenges and opportunities. But Christ is beside us, only a prayer away, to encourage and help us on our journey.

    Praying for you both and your family. God bless.

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    1. Thanks so much, Victor, for your prayers and encouragement. Yes, Jesus is with us in and through all things and all stages of our lives. We are leaning upon Him daily.
      Love and blessings!

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  2. Such a lovely photo of you two, smiles. Laughter is always the best medicine. Have a great day, smiles.

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    1. Thanks so much, Linda. And laughter? Oh, yes, it's always a marvelous medicine! I pray you have an amazing day, too.
      Love and blessings!

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  3. Welcome to my world! Things sure do change as we get older. WOW! Although I am still pretty active, I do find myself tiring much sooner and taking longer to recover. Jo is slower and more sedentary. But at 73 she is allowed to be. She talks to me about the "R" word but I'm not ready to do that. I hope Danny's situation gets better soon...although time together does not seem to bother either one of you. :) Blessings my friend!

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    1. Thanks so much for your understanding and encouragement here, Bill. Time together is fine, and it's God's plan for us at the moment, it seems. Here's to the ties that bind!
      Love and blessings!

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  4. My own take on getting older is that life, or much of it, is very daily. For me, life is largely routine (even when I was younger), and I do anticipate big trips or vacations as as welcome break.

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    1. Living with and in the moments we are given is the best way to move forward, Glynn, I agree. We are taking things a step at a time, albeit some of those feel like baby ones. One faithful foot in front of the other!

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  5. I went back and read what you all experienced with Danny's pacemaker. I can understand the changes that you all have had to make since then. I also understand the PTSD. My youngest daughter has been dealing with this for a couple of years. She had a stress heart attack after her youngest son almost loss his life in a horrible car accident. (Thanking God for sending Angels). PTSD is real. God Bless you both.

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    1. PTSD is absolutely a real manifestation of emotions, Shug, and cannot nor should it be ignored as a symptom that one has to "get over." I'm so sorry to hear what your poor daughter had to go through and is still dealing with in the near loss of her precious son. Yes, I absolutely believe that God's angels intervene when we are at our greatest time of need. Thanks for sharing your personal experience here with all of us.
      Love and blessings!

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  6. Hey, nice to see a photo of y'all! You both look great.
    I think you just helped me with something. I've been feeling ... I dunno ... out of sorts lately since May 8th when I had the Dislocated Pinky, the ambulance ride, the hospital, and so forth. Must be a PTSD of sorts? I can't seem to shake it. I had it before from abuse from a cruel father. Thought I was over it. Lately, though, I don't want to ride, to blog, to socialize, to go anywhere "far", etc. I feel deflated all the time. That is so UNLIKE ME!! Hmmm ... thanks for sharing what y'all are going through (which I am sorry you're having problems too). Prayers for us all, right?!
    Blessings. 💙

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    1. Prayers for all, indeed, Sparky! I think you may have hit the nail on the proverbial head with your assessment of why you have felt so ill at ease after the dislocation of your pinky and all that entailed for you and your husband. Isn't it odd how we can think a trauma is 'behind us' when something happens to bring it front and center. Thanks be to God that He is here for all of us who believe and know that all of us will struggle here on earth until Jesus returns.
      Love and blessings!

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  7. Wonderful photo, Martha!
    Thank you so much for your candid testimony. Here, I foolishly presumed after Danny's emergency (successful) surgery that all was well. While Tom's health situation is not nearly as precarious as Danny's, for the last 18 months I've been afraid to leave him alone. No, it's not easy and I can be a bit selfish at times. But you're right, two are better than one. One day at a time!

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    1. Thanks so much, Myra, for your understanding comment here. You know I hear you about Tom's condition; even if it's not as 'serious' as someone else's doesn't mean it is real and close and felt deeply by the both of you. You could certainly accuse me of being selfish and whiny, and if I'm honest, I'd have to plead guilty. Ah, the onus our human frailties can visit upon us!
      Love and blessings!

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  8. I am alone and pray all day long that God will keep me on my feet. If anything serious happened it could be days before anyone knew. But, I don't feel alone instead I do feel that God takes care of me. I really like the photo!!

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    1. Thank you, Annie, for your kind words about the photo and for being so candid with all of us here. I have a friend who lives by herself, too. Just to play it on the safe side, she has a phone 'trunk' of friends she calls on different days to simply say, "I'm here!" This gives her such peace of mind, and this gal is a warrior for God, too! Being alone when we are getting up there in years is no picnic, that's for sure.
      Love and blessings!

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  9. I can relate to your daily life. I had a stoke back in 2012 and I always felt comfortable with my wife beside me. I still walk alone but not as often as I used to. My wife does come with me a lot and it is still comforting to both of us. No need to worry so much if you are both together.
    Blessings to you and Danny.

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    1. Thanks, Bill, for sharing your story with us here today. I think it's even more difficult for men to accept the fact that they can't be as independent and "strong" as they once were. Yet the example you set here by saying that you feel better when your wife accompanies you on your photography jaunts is so encouraging! Two are better than one, aren't they?
      Love and blessings!

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  10. Amen, Pamela! God is always with us no matter where we are. I'm glad that you understand so well what we are experiencing, and that John and you have that loving, giving relationship which makes the bonds between you stronger and more lasting. Any health issue, large or small at our ages, will cause us to be concerned for those we love. May you keep walking together on this Christian journey you began so many beautiful years ago.
    Love and blessings!

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  11. Martha Jane: I believe we all, those of us of that certain age, are going through what you have felt. I know I have and it is hard to take unless we realize that God is still with us, no matter how confining things are, I am putting you back on my prayer list. Peace and blessings to you and yours.

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    1. Yes, Cecelia, it is a hard pill to swallow until we realize that we are truly blessed because God is right there with us, day in and day out. Thanks you, friend, for your prayers. That is the best love and caring any one of us can give to another when we can't be there in person.
      Love and blessings!

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  12. Dearest Martha Jane,
    Well, if you are two—you still have that option and luxury of helping each other!
    For me it is only me with my special guardian angels and lots of prayers.
    On April 9 I drove the I–20 from Lithonia to our Hyatt House near Cumberland Mall, and Pieter complimented my driving skills. Guess he felt that he was fading out and he literally did 3 weeks later! His legs and feet were swollen and I was so proud for having obtained 2 pair of compression socks at Podology of Georgia! He could not swim when we were at the pool and when I asked him if it was nog going well, he only shook his head. Come, let's get out and back to our room I said and that's what we did. Now I'm here solo and all those memories play through my mind. How long will I manage doing this?!
    Hugs,
    Mariette

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    1. How long, O Lord, how long? Oh, Mariette, you are in my prayers all the time. You are brave and stalwart because of God's strength flowing through your veins. It is a luxury to still be able and willing to help the one we love and show the support that he or she might need. You were true to Pieter in everything until he was called home, and you loved him above and beyond what most people would do. That's how I feel about Danny, and doing all I possibly can for him is the least I could possibly do as a testament to our love for one another.
      Love and blessings!

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    2. And that love is never–ending as our souls never die! 💞

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  13. I love this: We give because we love, we love because we give. So true and even more so as we age. You and Danny are in my daily prayers, Martha. Love & hugs!!

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    1. I'm so gratified that you liked this truth in my post, Terri. It is true and only becomes more of a truth as we age and know that our days will not last forever in our partnership. Beyond a shadow of a doubt, I know that Joe and you shared this same love and devotion, and I'll bet you'd say to this day that he was an answer to your prayers. It always makes me feel better knowing that you have so many friends in your community and church who look out for you, and are willing to be your companion in times of need.
      Love and blessings!

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  14. Hi Martha Jane, two are definitely better than one. I always say to people that if my husband was in charge of the finances we would be broke, if I was in charge of the mechanics the car would not start. I used to do a lot of the gardening but now I get a good gardener in to do it. We even do the house cleaning together, and my husband is a very good chef. God bless you both.

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    1. My husband is a great chef, too, Brenda! That's a pleasant coincidence, for sure. Fortunately, both of us are very careful with our finances, and Danny has helped me in learning how to do our monthly budget. He is also my go-to tech guy when the computer decides to be uncooperative. A partnership of love and respect for each other's talents and gifts certainly does make us better together.
      Love and blessings!

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  15. I know you and Danny NEVER fuss or argue -ha! How happy you look together. Love the scripture. Do you know how blessed you are, Martha, to have your own personal chef who transforms food into a work of art - I've seen the photos of his meals.

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    1. That's a good one, Debra! Show me the couple that never has a spat, and I'll show you some ocean front property in Kansas . :) Yes, I do know how blessed I am that Danny loves cooking and enjoys trying new things or perfecting old recipes. That photo was taken in the fall of last year, and we both like it. Glad you did, too.
      Love and blessings!

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  16. Wonderful photo and post, Martha. Two are better than one and I like how you said, "We give because we love, we love because we give." Yes, good insight here. By the way, loved listening to your interview on the podcast with your publisher. Learned so much about you and your books. God bless! Karen Friday

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    1. Thanks so much, Karen, for your encouraging words here and for taking time to listen to the interview in my previous blog! I so appreciate your support as I know how busy Mike and you are with your wonderful channel, Friday's Forever, on YouTube. I'm glad I could reveal more about me as your great videos tell me so much about your heart and Mike's, too, and your intense love and appreciation for one another as you explore God's creation together. Two are always better than one!
      Love and blessings!

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  17. Hehe great couple and nice photo, I loved your post so much.

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  18. Thanks so much for stopping by, Snobe.
    Love and blessings!

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  19. I appreciate your post. We just passed our 61st anniversary and are in the same situation. Jill has vertigo and can't drive. I do all of the cooking, grocery shopping and driving, house repairs and etc. At times that means doing some of her chores as well. It is all done with love and oneness. The Lord united us and He will forever bless us as one.

    Love, Hugs and Blessings to you both

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    1. Amen, Jim! I'm sorry Jill is suffering with this problem, but it is clear that your love for one another and for God has given you both the strength and resolve to work everything out together. We can both be so thankful to have that kind of love and commitment here on earth.
      Love and blessings!

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  20. Those distractions you mentioned made me late to the party again, Martha, but I so enjoyed another invitation to visit you in the life you really live. I love the easy way you not only bring us into your home, but allow us to share the relationship you and Danny share, but there's more than a glimpse of the mechanics of your relationship. You have also given us a mini seminar of how a marriage covenant is supposed to work. Life brings us changes that we might never expect and demands changes that totally rearrange our day to day routines. Love makes us willing to adjust whatever needs to be adjusted, and to do it without complaints and accusations.
    I watched Diane do that again and again. Thankfully, I haven't needed a pacemaker, but 4 hip replacements, 2 knee replacements, 2 hernia surgeries, and assorted other medical inconveniences, I've watched my wonderful wife make adjustments that simply astounded me and she never once complained. No wonder God took care to let us know that "the greatest of these is love." God bless you for the sweet and encouraging reminder.

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    1. I'll bet you'd be the first to say that Diane is a saint, Ron, and I sure wouldn't blame you one bit! I'm not at all perfect nor selfless in this change of routine in our lives, but that's when love steps in to correct me and my attitude. I so appreciate your sharing of your own experiences here as quite a few others have done the same. It really helps to know that we are never alone in our struggles to meet the needs of the moments in which we find ourselves. And of course, God is right there with us through thick and thin.
      Love and blessings!

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  21. I love the photo of the two of you. I find as I grow older I want to be with Bill more and value the time of being together even with simple chores of riding together in the car. Someday we may not have that honor. Too many of my friends no longer have that and I feel that pain for them. Enjoy our time together, right!

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    1. That is absolutely the right attitude to have, Jean, and we certainly are blessed by the husbands we have by our sides. That is something no one should ever take for granted, not for one moment. I, too, have friends who are widows. Praying for them all!
      Love and blessings!

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  22. Kudos to you Martha for finding the positives and growing your contentment in the new circumstances of your lives. You are an inspiration!

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    1. You are too kind, Nancy. I'm humbled by your words here as I am in these new circumstances that Danny and I are currently navigating. It's all good because God is good all the time!
      Love and blessings!

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  23. It's touching to hear how you and Danny have adapted to new routines and embraced the changes brought by his surgery.
    Your ability to find humor and joy in the midst of these adjustments speaks volumes about the strength of your bond.
    It’s inspiring to see how love and support can transform challenges into opportunities for deeper connection and growth.
    Wishing you both continued grace and patience as you navigate this journey together.

    Hugs and blessings, Martha

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind and affirming words here, Veronica. I give thanks to God for initially bringing us together and keeping us dedicated to one another through the great times and the tough ones. When love for Him is shared, it only grows stronger bonds between the two who love and revere Him.
      Love and blessings!

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  24. Bom dia, Martha
    Versículo edificante, sim, é melhor serem dois do que um... A Palavra de Deus é um verdadeiro alimento para nossas almas. Você e seu esposo formam um belo casal, essa unidade e comunhão faz com que os dias se tornem mais leves, um ajudando o outro é bênção. O Senhor cuida de nós em cada detalhe, um forte abraço.

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    1. Thanks so much for your sweet comment here, Lucinalva. Yes, the Lord will see to all the details when we put Him first in our lives, and love one another the way He has taught us to. Absolutely, two are better than one!
      Love and blessings!

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  25. Nice pic, Martha! Yes, two are definitely better than one. And truly it is hard to admit we can't do what we used to do. :( Love and blessings of needed strength and peace to you and Danny!

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    1. Thanks, Trudy, for your kind words about the photo and the message of the post. Yes, admitting that we can't do what we used to do can be disheartening, but when we can still be together and share our love, it is all worth it. Looking forward, not backward.
      Love and blessings!

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  26. thecontemplativecat here. We are much the same. I have chronic sever migraines, can't drive. we go everywhere together, into the dr. examination room. Two of us together make one, which is what God wanted.

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    1. You are so right, Susan. That IS what God wants for us in marriage as the two become one flesh. I'm so sorry that you suffer from those migraines, and I certainly can attest to going into exam/consultation rooms together. We all need that love and support.
      Love and blessings!

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  27. We have a lot of routines here, carried out both daily and weekly. I am comfortable with that. When interruptions break it up, I try to ge back to the norm as quickly as reasonable.

    Yes, two are better than one. I am so very thankful that my time as a single person after my first husband’s death was relatively short.

    Great picture of the two of you!

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    1. I'm so glad and grateful that God sent Gary into your life, Barbara. You certainly make an amazing team and you inspire the true meaning of 'two are better than one.' Have you told Gary lately how lucky he is? :)
      Love and blessings!

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  28. Quando um casal se entende na perfeição tudo fica mais fácil.
    Abraço de amizade.
    Juvenal Nunes

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    1. That's so true, Junenal. Thanks so much for visiting here today.
      Love and blessings!

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  29. The photo of you two- Marha and Danny - says it all: love, trust, devotion, togetherness.
    God's blessings and your prayers to Him, are part of the best things in life.

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    1. Thanks so much for your sweet words here, Duta. Yes, God has certainly blessed our love and commitment, and we are so aware of His presence each and every day.
      Love and blessings!

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  30. Bless your dear hearts. We are sensing subtle age-related adjustments here, too. Just so thankful to our Heavenly Father to still be alive, have each other and our precious son, and that we are as well as we all are. God bless you and Danny!

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    1. That is exactly the right attitude to have, Cheryl! May we all give thanks daily to God and His grace no matter in what season of life we find ourselves.
      Love and blessings!

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    1. Your prayers are so appreciated, Diana.
      Love and blessings!

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  32. Humor is a expression of mutual respect.
    Thank you for your concern about the typhoon we had.

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    1. You are so very welcome, my friend. Humor is a great help in our daily lives, isn't it?
      Love and blessings!

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