Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Back Seat Driver - Part 1


2 Timothy 4:2
Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage - with great patience and careful instruction.

My husband, Danny, is head chef at our house.  I'm the chief bottle-washer, pot and pan scrubber, stove and counter cleaner-upper.  It's a great arrangement which works perfectly for us.

Most of the time . . .

Several weeks ago, I announce to Danny that I'm craving egg salad and will be making some that very afternoon.  Now, I must admit, I haven't made it in years; in the days when I worked outside the home, it was a staple in my lunches.  But, I do recall the ingredients I put in it.

"Let's try adding baking soda to the egg water," Danny suggests.  "It's supposed to make the eggs peel much better."  He places three eggs in a pot, covers them with water, and places the pot on the stove to boil.

He sees me methodically chopping onion and celery at a snail's pace.  "Here, let me help," he says.  "I'm so used to doing this, I can do it quicker for you and save you some time."

I go to the refrigerator to fetch mayo and mustard.  "You're not going to use plain mustard in the salad, are you?"  Danny asks.  "Why don't we try this new Dijon I just bought instead?"

By now, some of you ladies who are queens of the kitchen are probably wondering why I haven't yet bopped Danny with my rolling pin or served up some choice, possibly indelicate, words.  Three reasons:  1) I'm crazy about this guy; 2) I'm well aware that he's a much more capable cook than I am, and 3) Danny really knows how to season food perfectly.  This egg salad is bound to be a winner!

When Danny tastes the final product, he declares, "Best egg salad you've ever made!"

I give him the "look."  "And, just who made it?"  I ask.

He smiles sheepishly, "Well, they were your ingredients.  I just added one or two things."

"One or two things?"

"All right, I admit it.  I'm a back seat driver when it comes to cooking.  Just can't sit on the sidelines and watch."

I give Danny a big hug.  "And, I, for one, am so glad you got into the game today.  Thanks for all your help."

He hugs me back.  "Next time, I promise, I'll let you do all this on your own."

I'll believe that when I see it . . . :)

~

When Danny stepped in to help me, his intentions were good and his actions were meant to encourage and instruct me kindly, not tear me down.  When you feel the urge to be a back seat driver, do you correct and help with great patience, or do you give instructions brusquely before thinking about how your words might make the person feel?  Please share in the comment section.

Prayer:  Father, there are times when all of us need to be corrected, rebuked and encouraged in order to get the job done right.  May those who offer us help do so with great patience and careful instructions, and, most of all, with kindness of heart and gentleness of spirit.  Amen.

12 comments:

  1. Great story Martha :). Sharing and being comfortable with each other is so important. A wonderful collaboration.

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    1. Thanks so much for visiting today, Ron! So glad you enjoyed this story, and, yes, we do collaborate well. It's a joy!
      Love and blessings!

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  2. Martha, I have always been a 'back seat driver' when it comes to the kitchen and house cleaning LOL With age, I am learning to hold my thoughts unless I see them struggling, then I attempt to give gentle suggestions. But even with being gentle, sometimes the advice is ignored and it is obviously something that they need to learn through their own experience.
    Wonderful post Martha, and thank you for sharing ♥♥♥

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    1. Mary, it's hard to give up that control, especially when it's a cook as good as you. :) I miss those recipes you used to share!
      And, yes, sometimes our well-intended advice is ignored; that can be so irritating at the moment, but realizing everyone ultimately needs to find their own way helps us to take it in stride.
      Love and blessings!

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  3. I very rarely ever drive when my husband is home. I let him do it all because when I drive he is constantly yelling at me to stop, do this, do that, and quite frankly he drives me nuts and makes me nervous. As far as the kitchen goes, he rarely steps in to it and leaves that largely to me. There have been times though when he thinks he wants something to eat NOW that I let him go out there and have at it. At those times he always makes enough for everyone...which is nice.

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    1. Lol, Kathy, Danny is not only a back seat driver in the kitchen, but on the road, too. Your husband sounds just like him so, just as you do, I simply let him take the wheel when we go anywhere.
      Thanks so much for your lovely comment!
      Love and blessings!

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  4. What a sweet example of gentle correction, not to mention a delicious one, too! ;)

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    1. Thanks so much, Joyce! I so appreciate you dropping in today to comment. :)
      Love and blessings!

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  5. I think it could be seen more when I am with the kids ~ when I really wish them to learn something, I have to take a back seat and enjoy them growing their confidence in accomplishing a task or creating something beautifully. I am an impatient person and I guess the Lord teaches me patience by giving me this assignment :P

    I could feel the love between you and Danny and I think it is how people learn things easily... through love ;)

    I pray with you, may the Lord grant the ones who teach us patience and may we in turn learn to be humble.

    *I miss you dear friend! Glad I have time to read :D

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    1. Melissa, I'm so glad you found the time to visit; so grateful!
      Sometimes, as with your kids, the backseat is necessary for them to learn. God will use these moments to teach us the patience and the love which we need to perserver.
      Miss you, too! May God love and bless!

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  6. Powerful reminder that when God calls us to correct, rebuke and encourage it should always be done in love and great patience. But the reality is that even when done in that way and bathed in much prayer it sometimes isn't not received well. And yet that still does not mean I should not correct or rebuke as God calls me to, when I am sure it's something I am to do...after much prayer. After all I am also accountable if I do not warn a brother or sister to flee from sin.

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    1. Thanks so much for visiting today, Sharon!
      You are so right - we can't control whether or not our words will stick with the listener, but we are to help other Christians along the way, and, hopefully, listen with open hearts should we be the ones in need of correction.
      Love and blessings!

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