Friday, February 3, 2012

The Parent Trap

Hebrews 12:7
Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father?

All children need discipline. How much or how little depends a great deal on a child's temperament.

For some, a simple "no" suffices in correcting a wrong behavior. Others may require more stringent measures. A swift pop to the bottom. A rap to the hand. Time-out. Grounding. Removal of privileges.

In raising my children, I am fortunate that both respond well to my "no". It is the rare occasion when anything harsher is called for.

I know. I am one lucky parent.

Because, others are not so blessed.

Or, just don't know how to deal with their child's negative actions.

I witness this first-hand in teaching. It is immediately evident which children have firm, loving, and appropriate discipline at home, and which ones have been "spared the rod".

The latter are the ones I can count on to be disruptive, disrespectful, arrogant.

Spoiled . . .

For life.

Because discipline-deprived youngsters turn into selfish, demanding, tyrannical adults.

Not a pretty picture.

And, most definitely, a far cry from being labeled children of God.

All because a father is lenient. Or, a mother wants to be her child's best friend.

Instead of being what their child needs most.

A disciplined parent.
How were you disciplined as a child? How are you or did you discipline your own children?

Will you pray with me?
The hardest job any of us can ever have, Father, is being a parent. We pray that all parents would look to You as the model for disciplining their children. We thank You for being our Abba, our Daddy, who disciplines with love. Amen.

Psalms 69:1-23 (24-30) 31-36 or 71
Genesis 24:1-27
Hebrews 12:3-11
John 7:1-13


  1. I understand where you are coming from but I do not 100% agree. My parents, more so my mother disciplined us well, there were "levels",lol. They always tried with verbal commands such as no. I think they did the best job they could.

    1. Thanks so much for stopping by!
      I think we can all agree to disagree when it comes to parenting. We all have our different styles and must adjust to our children's temperaments.
      I do like the idea of your mom's "levels" - hopefully, she didn't have to go there often! :)
      Blessings to you!

  2. I wish it was as black and white as good parenting, bad parenting it seems (and I say seems because it seems like a huge amount of children) a large portion of children today suffer from some kind of ADHD, OCD, Aspergers, Disbraxia, Autism, etc I could go on and on. I'm not saying that there are not children out there that genuinely have these problems because I know there are but it seems almost every other parent I speaks to has a child with one of these 'behavioural problems' all medically proven and it does make me wonder whether we have we become a culture of labeling disruptive, disobedience, naughty children as 'medically incapable of good behaviour' just to justify the lack of good parenting today?

    1. Wow, Sarah-Jane, what an interesting perspective here! In teaching, I felt that too many students were given medication who really didn't need it. Children are naturally active and need those outlets of expression daily.
      In my post today, I was only addressing those kids who have every ability to control themselves and choose not to because there are no consequences in place at home.
      And, yes, in some cases, I'm sure medication is replacing good, firm parenting. So sad . . .
      Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving such a thought-provoking comment for everyone!

  3. I won't go into how I was disciplined,I will say it was not with love. I changed that with my own, I lacked some in consistency but it was always with love.

    1. As discipline should be - always with love!
      Thanks, Jan, for taking time to stop by today!

  4. I try to show a little bit more of a rational and calm side to my children when they do wrong than my parents did with me. At the same time I've realized that even if it's hard it's to my children's benefit to set down firm guidelines and expectations. It always is disservice to have them perceive you as a friend rather than a parent who has authority. Children thrive when they know what is expected.

    1. Oh, yes, Jessica, I do believe children need to have limits set with firmness and kindness and certainly deserve to know what is expected of them.
      I like that you remain calm when your children do something wrong. It is never a good idea to discipline when we are angry; only to do so in love.
      Blessings and thanks for stopping by!

  5. I could say my mom was a 'terror' when we were kids but she became my best friend when I grew up. My mom says it's not easy to raise four kids hence the discipline we received was a bit harsh.

    With the kids I'm teaching, I thank God because they could feel how much I love them despite my firmness. I tell them I do not shout, I just raise my voice so they could hear me (falsetto LOL)...

    Oh and when reprimanded, I explain why.

    I pray with you, that I may look deeply into God's discipline as a sign of love and a blessing in disguise.

    1. Yes, Melissa, I can certainly see how raising four would require you mom to be more stern than if there was only one or two. It's the hardest job anyone can have, being a parent!
      And, it's the discipline you received that is helping you now with the little ones you teach.
      Blessings always and thanks for stopping by! :)



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